


things have already changed too much to be put back

by regrowing_a_heart



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, but before ddd, i feel like character studies are the only thing i write, implied sorikai - Freeform, post-KH2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 11:38:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5625343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regrowing_a_heart/pseuds/regrowing_a_heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they pretend that nothing's changed.</p>
<p>in reality, everything has.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things have already changed too much to be put back

He grips a glass too tightly and it just...breaks.

 

Turns into a dusting of glass icicles across the floor.

 

He stands there for a moment, just staring at the way the glass twinkles like dew -covered spiderwebs, how there is a new jagged sharp scar on the kitchen tile that wasn't there before, and how...

 

How he's failed, again.

 

Even doing something as mundane and ordinary as picking up a glass.

 

  
_Look at you! Look at how fucking useless you are that you managed to break something else! What, was your own heart - no, your friend's hearts, no, the worlds themselves- not enough?_   
_You might as well just fade back into darkness._   
_It's obvious that you'll never be able to function like everybody else, that you'll only be a shadow of what you used to be, that you'll always be worthless -_   


 

He screams denial, falls down, and punches the tiles until they're smeared red with glass and blood and tears.

 

Hours later, and he's still finding new cuts all over his hands.

 

The next day, he slips back into an old facade and pretends it never happened, though there are a few more scars to add to his collection.

 

No one notices this.

 

What's a few more cracks on old tiles?  
...

 

There's a distance, now, between him and his old friends. 

 

He knows they are not to blame for it.

 

Really, what can you do when your friends are quite happy with their simple, oblivious existences? 

 

When they talk of nothing but college and jobs and wistful daydreams of the future?

 

They'll ask him about his own dreams, and he will shrug them off and laugh them away into the breeze, like he doesn't care.

 

In reality, it's all he thinks of.

 

He has saved the worlds, and now what? What beyond that?

 

There is an itch on his skin and restlessness in his bones. Now that he's seen what's out there, he can never go back to how he used to be.

 

Maybe it's better that way, he tells himself, even as he feels that distance again.  
...

 

She trains every day.

 

Goes down to the local gym, runs on the treadmill like she's outrunning enemies, lifts weights until her arms feel like they will never work again, and she still feels weak.

 

She let them, the two people she cared the most about in all of the worlds, keep getting hurt, and just stood at the side and did nothing.

 

And look where it got them all.

 

Broken, and alone, trying to fit themselves into roles that are several thousand sizes too small. 

 

She couldn't protect them.

 

No, she didn't protect them.

 

She could have, but she didn't. That thought makes her push herself even more.

 

At night, when the stars shine brightest, she turns her back on them and whispers to the shadows, selfishly pleading with them to rebel, to fight again, to destroy and hurt.

 

So she can finally prove herself to everyone.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in one sitting, after watching the ending to kh2. this is inspired by so many "coming home" fics for the trio, because i get the feeling that their adventures impacted them a lot more than they ever let on. also, i wanted to give kairi a little character development (lord knows the writers don't).
> 
> follow me on tumblr : http://alone-in-my-little-infinity.tumblr.com/


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